Ted: Oh, daddy\’s back! See, if you\’d taken a moment to think about that…

Barney: Then daddy wouldn\’t have gotten this seven digit father\’s day card from Amy! Ahhh!

Ted: That worked?? I hate the world.

Barney: Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I\’m teaching you how to do, do, do!

Marshall: [giggles] Doo-doo!

Barney: Heh heh, totally!

Ted: So I think a lot! I happen to have a very powerful brain. It can\’t be helped.

Barney: Oh yes it can. [places a shot in front of Ted]

Marshall: Interesting!

Lily: Oooh!

Barney: Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It\’s like the universe was saying, \”Hey Barney, there\’s this dude, he\’s pretty cool, but it\’s your job to make him awesome!\”

[Ted laughs]

Barney: Your brain screws you up Ted. It gets in the way. It happened with Robin, it happened with half-boob… and it\’s gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neuroses, inebriation-style.

Ted: So what, you..uh..you want me to do a shot?

Barney: OH NOO. I want you to do FIVE shots. [pushes tray of other four shots to Ted]

Marshall: OOOH, more interesting.

Ted: Barney, I think you\’ve officially…

Barney: NO! Don\’t think. DO!

Marshall: Ted, he\’s right. You over-think. Maybe, you should over-drink.

Marshall and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

Ted: Uh Lily, will you tell these guys how stupid they\’re being?

Lily: Guys, you are being immature and moronic and DRINK DRINK DRINK!

Marshall: OH!

Barney: HA HA!

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

[Ted takes the first shot]

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: YEAH! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

Ted: Let me tell you something about this brain, okay?

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

[Ted downs second shot]

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: YEAH!!

Ted: Mere alcohol cannot stop this brain.

[Ted knocks down the third shot]

Barney: I love it, I love it, I love it!

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: YEAH!! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

Ted: This brain, dear mortals, is no ordinary brain.

[Ted pounds the fourth shot]

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

Ted: This is a super-brain!

[Ted finishes the fifth shot]

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! YEAH!! Ha haa!

Lily: Hahahaha!

Ted: This brain is unstoppable! This brain…

Future Ted: …And that\’s all I remember.