Ted: Oh, daddy\’s back! See, if you\’d taken a moment to think about that…
Barney: Then daddy wouldn\’t have gotten this seven digit father\’s day card from Amy! Ahhh!
Ted: That worked?? I hate the world.
Barney: Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I\’m teaching you how to do, do, do!
Marshall: [giggles] Doo-doo!
Barney: Heh heh, totally!
Ted: So I think a lot! I happen to have a very powerful brain. It can\’t be helped.
Barney: Oh yes it can. [places a shot in front of Ted]
Marshall: Interesting!
Lily: Oooh!
Barney: Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It\’s like the universe was saying, \”Hey Barney, there\’s this dude, he\’s pretty cool, but it\’s your job to make him awesome!\”

[Ted laughs]

Barney: Your brain screws you up Ted. It gets in the way. It happened with Robin, it happened with half-boob… and it\’s gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neuroses, inebriation-style.
Ted: So what, you..uh..you want me to do a shot?
Barney: OH NOO. I want you to do FIVE shots. [pushes tray of other four shots to Ted]
Marshall: OOOH, more interesting.
Ted: Barney, I think you\’ve officially…
Barney: NO! Don\’t think. DO!
Marshall: Ted, he\’s right. You over-think. Maybe, you should over-drink.
Marshall and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
Ted: Uh Lily, will you tell these guys how stupid they\’re being?
Lily: Guys, you are being immature and moronic and DRINK DRINK DRINK!
Marshall: OH!
Barney: HA HA!
Marshall, Lily, and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

[Ted takes the first shot]

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: YEAH! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
Ted: Let me tell you something about this brain, okay?
Marshall, Lily, and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

[Ted downs second shot]

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: YEAH!!
Ted: Mere alcohol cannot stop this brain.

[Ted knocks down the third shot]

Barney: I love it, I love it, I love it!
Marshall, Lily, and Barney: YEAH!! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
Ted: This brain, dear mortals, is no ordinary brain.

[Ted pounds the fourth shot]

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
Ted: This is a super-brain!

[Ted finishes the fifth shot]

Marshall, Lily, and Barney: Drink! Drink! Drink! YEAH!! Ha haa!
Lily: Hahahaha!
Ted: This brain is unstoppable! This brain…
Future Ted: …And that\’s all I remember.

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